Stay Home with Papa

Alrighty ... finally, well .. mama's going back to work. That's one reason why I haven't got a chance to update this or my blog. Pertamanya gue pengen kerja cuman part time doang. Jadi ada transisi buat dylan untuk adjustment. Tapi nyarinya syusaaah nek. Jadi one day, karena gue udah kesel banget, bete, di rumah melulu, eh iseng2 aja ke agency. Pertamanya nggak ada, .. tapi terus yang kedua ada. Dari jam 8-4 sore, M-F.
Karena sekarang Anton kerjanya sore-malem, aku pikir, .. ya udah deh, kayaknya pas banget jam kerjanya. Jadi gue nggak usah pake baby sitter. Pagi ampe sore biar papa yang jaga. Gue pulang, gantian jagain dylan. Habis kalo nitipin dylan ke bs, rasanya hati gue ini nggak tega banget, I mean a total stranger .. duh gak tegaaa banget deh gue. Lagian Dylan tuh paling nggak demen stranger (dia bukan tipe yang friendly gitu ama stranger). Kalo dijagain ama papanya sendiri kan dia udah familiar banget.

Pertamanya Anton juga agak2 "ngeri" sih buat jagain si "demolition derby" dylan. Tapi gue bilang, "Kenapa sih mesti takut?" Disini tuh udah biasa banget kalo bapak2 jagain anaknya. Coba aja liat di park tuh, bapak2 tampangnya sangar, tattoonya bejibun ... tapi dorong2 stroller, maen ama anaknya di park. Pokoknya pemandangan kayak gitu udah biasa banget deh di sini, .. mereka nggak malu dan benernya ngeliatnya juga malah kayak asyik gitu.
Lagian gue udah pengen belanja-belanji baju gichuuu .. hahaha. Ya kayaknya gimana aja kalo kita kerja sendiri tuh kan kita lebih enak ngatur financenya, karena kalo di rumah aja kan benernya bukan dapet duit ehhh tiap keluar pasti malah keluar duit.

Dan menurut gue (and my mom) akan lebih baik buat perkembangan psikis Dylan dan gue. Buat Dylan supaya dia nggak terlalu attached ke mama, dan buat gue sendiri supaya nggak suntuk banget di rumah aja nungguin suami pulang. Udah nggak ketemu adults, ... yaa tiap hari kerjanya beres2 rumah, pick-up toys (like 1 million times a day) ... and all other domestic stuff. That makes my brain bores to death.

Soooo, gue kerja dehh ... gue pikir kalo misalnya gue nggak tahan, juga bisa sign off sewaktu2, pokoknya dicoba dulu gitu.

Hari pertama,
.. bangun tidur Dylan nangis nyari mama. Tapi udah gitu dia nggak papa, cuma pas mau bobok siang katanya agak rewel lagi nyari2 mama.
Pas kerja, honestly, gue nggak terlalu kangen2 banget ama dia dan nggak ada rasa cemas tuh (OK, I lied ... I was a little bit worry and miss him). Karena mungkin sibuk jadi gue nggak terlalu kepikiran, tapi pas break, gue ngeliatin foto Dy ... nggak terasa air mata menggenang ... duuuh, dalam pikiran gue, Dylan lagi apa ya? Dylan sedih nggak ya? Cuman habis itu gue tepis perasaan sedih, karena kan Dy ama papa. Let them have the father and son moment.
Pas gue pulang, ... gue udah kuaaaangeeeeeeen banget. Masuk rumah tuh gue udah nyerbu banget nyari my little tod. Lagi di kamar nonton TV ma papa, ... gue udah pengen banget hug dia. Eh, bukannya menyambut, tampang Dy malah kayak bingung gitu ... (For a while, my heart felt like electrocuted with his unwelcome face). Disuruh hug and kiss juga cuek aja, malah nonton TV. Sueeebeeeeellll rekkk.
Gue udah teriak2 ... It's me mama, Dylan .. it's mama .... mama's home.
Papanya malah godain, ... Mama who? Mama who?
Gue dengan disabar2in bilang ... I know you're joking ... but please, kalo kamu kerja, aku nggak pernah ngajarin "papa who" to your son. Instead I'm telling him to welcome u once I heard your steps by the door ... How would you feel if I do "papa who" to you?
Of course dia dengan senyum2 merasa bersalah manggut2. (Nah loe!).

Hari Kedua
Like yesterday, bangun pagi juga nangis nyari mama dan katanya dy nangisnya sediiiiiih banget, sampe sengguk2 gitu, sampe papanya juga sedih dengernya. Terus tapi seharian udah nggak papa ... Dan pas gue pulang, baru buka pintu ... Dylan udah lari dari kamar ke pintu ... mama, mama ... en tangannya angkat ke atas gitu, minta dipeluk. Mukanya seneeeng banget ... langsung deh gue peluk and ciumin pipi ndutnya dia. .. Gitu dong nak, ... that's the kind of expression that I've been expecting. Dan of course, mata bulatnya mandang gue ... terus ngomong, "nenen, nenen .. mau nenen". hihihi .... Ok, dokie boy.

Sleeping All on His Own

Yesterday, I started putting Dylan in his own room to sleep. To my surprise, he actually slept there without begging for nenen. At least for the second time around. I still had to give him the comfort at first. But when he woke up, I put him back to bed and sit on the chair. He was half asleep, checking me out if I still there. I sit still and he's drifted back to sleep. Like 5 seconds later, he tossed and turn, and peeked his way to see if mama still there. Yes, baby .. I'm still here.

Wow, no drama?
After about 10 minutes, I was kinda drifted to sleep myself on that chair. I just wanted him to feel comfortable in his own room. That I'd be there if he needed me. He was really in a deep sleep.
I moved my ass off quietly, heading to my room. I watched some TV, cause all the sudden I just didn't feel that sleepy anymore.
I'm so used having him by my side, I missed him by the time I finish the 30min show. Oh, how I wish I'd see his face on that door. Ironic, eh?

At around 2:30, the sleepiness hit me and I turned off the TV ... not much after that, maybe 15 min later or so, I heard a voice, .. I opened my eyes .. and saw a beautiful little face. There my son, on the edge of my bed, right in front of me. I scooped him right away, brought him up to bed and kissed him all over. Ohh, how I missed you son!

That sounds pathetic, cause after all sleeping on his own is definitely harder on me than him.

Right now, Day 2, 1:05 AM, he's sleeping in his room again. He was here before and woke up, I picked him up and carried him to his room. Wondering if it's the usual nenen time again. But as soon as his body touches the bed, there he is .. falling asleep again. Without struggle or whimper or nagging like he always does.

Wow ... that was easy.
I just have to be consistent, ... but I still miss him (a lot right now).
My son is a big boy now, eh.

Problem Solving

Summer is almost over. So everyday, I try to bring Dylan to the playground/park.

Seperti biasanya dia suka banget maen swing ... dia akan bilang, yeaaaa ... yeaaaa ... sambil 2 tangan kecilnya pegangan di rantai swing. Terus dia ngomong, ... "enak, enak" .. while the swing flies in the air .. hehehe. Iri aku nak. Enaknya maen swing.
Dia juga udah bisa duduk di swing utk anak2 gede yang alas duduknya cuman dari 1/2 lingkaran ban doang (jd nggak ada sandarannya). Lucuuuuuu banget, .. asli kayak Tweety yang lagi nyantai2 bertengger di sangkarnya. Hihi ... my little tweety beld.

Terus tadi pas maen di park, ada anak co kira2 umur 3-4 tahun, lagi cari2 mainannya di sebelah bench kita. Dan dia ngajak ngobrol (biasa .. anak kecil), nongkrong lah dia disitu ... Dylan tuh paling seneng maen ama anak cowok seumur dia gitu. Dibelakang bench kita itu kayak grass area yang posisinya ngetrap (kira2 setinggi 1 meter lah). Dari bench, kita bisa langsung naik ke atas paving dan ke grass area itu. Ni anak cowok, naik ke situ. Dylan, tentu aja mau ikut2. Aku bilang ... "Jangan nak, jangan, duduk aja sini, nanti kamu jatuh". Beberapa kali dia nyoba naik, tapi selalu kutarik turun.

Finally setelah dilarang terus, ... bukannya naik, eh sekarang Dy malah turun dari bench ... lari ke play area (kukira dia mau balik ke swing lagi). Ternyata ... dia ke tangga untuk menuju grass area itu ... dia naik sendiri, terus nyamperin anak cowok tadi yang udah sedari tadi ada di atas sambil ngoceh2 ria.

Oh my goodness, asli gue heraaan banget, kok Dy tahu ya .. bisa lewat tangga situ untuk access naik. Padahal seumur-umur kita belum pernah naik tangga itu. Jadi intinya, dia udah belajar problem solving.

Situation: pengen maen ama that 'little' boy

Problem: dia ada di atas, dan aku nggak boleh naek ke atas lewat bench ama mama.

Solution: I'm gonna go around and take the steps to get to that boy! Voila!

Oh Dy ... I'm so proud of you. How marvelous you use your tiny brain. I'm so impressed. (Thank you God!)

-Yang gini2 nih, mama nggak pengen lupa ... buat mengingatkan juga, kalo satu jalan kebentur nggak bisa2, and instead of being discouraged and give up, we can always try the other way. It can also surprise other people! Makasih ya nak.-